You have probably heard the advice a hundred times: take a bath, light a candle, write in your journal. And while those things work beautifully for some people, if you are neurodivergent, there is a good chance that advice has left you feeling like you are doing self-care wrong.
You are not.
What you may need is a different kind of self-care — one that starts with your nervous system, not a wellness trend. This post is about what that looks like in practice.
What Does "Neurodivergent" Actually Mean?
Neurodivergent is a non-medical, affirming term used to describe people whose brains develop or function differently from what is considered neurotypical. It is an umbrella that includes autism, ADHD, dyslexia, sensory processing disorder, and several other neurological and developmental differences.[my.clevelandclinic]
It is not a deficit. It is a difference — and understanding that difference is the first step toward caring for yourself in a way that actually works.
Why Standard Self-Care Often Misses the Mark
Most mainstream self-care advice is built around the neurotypical nervous system. Journaling, spa days, and talk therapy can be genuinely helpful for many people. But for neurodivergent adults, the root cause of daily exhaustion is often not a lack of relaxation — it is sensory overload, masking, and a nervous system that is constantly contending with an environment it was not designed for.
Research makes this clear. Sensory reactivity differences — meaning differences in how the brain receives and processes sensory input — are estimated to be present in up to 94% of autistic adults. These differences are not subtle. They span sight, sound, touch, taste, smell, and internal bodily sensations (known as interoception), and they can be deeply exhausting to navigate every single day.[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
When your nervous system is working that hard just to get through a meeting, a commute, or a grocery run, a bubble bath at the end of the day is not going to touch it. What you need are tools that work with your nervous system — tools that meet you where you actually are.
Understanding Your Sensory System
Before diving into strategies, it helps to understand what is going on beneath the surface.
Your nervous system processes input from multiple channels: the five familiar senses, plus proprioception (your sense of body position and pressure), the vestibular system (your sense of balance and movement), and interoception (your awareness of internal sensations like heartbeat, hunger, and temperature).[autism]
For neurodivergent adults, the way these channels process information can look like:
- Hyperreactivity — experiencing sensory input as more intense, painful, or overwhelming than others do
- Hyporeactivity — having a delayed or muted response to sensory input, or not noticing it at all
- Sensory seeking — actively seeking out specific types of input because it is regulating, soothing, or pleasurable[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
What is important to understand is that these patterns are not fixed, all-or-nothing experiences. A mixed-methods study of 49 autistic adults found that individuals can experience hyperreactivity, hyporeactivity, and sensory seeking simultaneously — often across different senses, and sometimes even within the same sensory domain depending on mood, energy, and stress levels.[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
In other words, your sensory needs are not a single, simple profile. They are dynamic, personal, and worth learning.
Sensory Overload Is Real — and Cumulative
Here is something that can feel validating to read: if you have ever arrived home from an ordinary workday feeling completely depleted, it is likely not a character flaw or a sign that you are fragile. It may simply be the cost of processing a relentlessly demanding sensory environment.
A qualitative study of autistic adults found that common, everyday environments — supermarkets, offices, public transit, healthcare settings — were regularly described as overwhelming, in part because of their unpredictability and sensory intensity. Participants described the experience of sensory overload as physical: nausea, headaches, an inability to concentrate, and in some cases, a shutdown where they could no longer engage with their surroundings.liebertpub+1
Crucially, research also shows that sensory reactivity becomes worse when you are already stressed, tired, or emotionally taxed. Sensory overload and stress create a reinforcing cycle — overload increases stress, and stress amplifies sensitivity to sensory input. This makes proactive sensory self-care far more effective than trying to recover after the fact.[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
The goal, then, is not to white-knuckle through demanding environments and recover later. It is to actively manage sensory input throughout your day.
Stimming Is Not a Problem to Fix
Before we talk about strategies, we need to address something directly: stimming.
Stimming — short for self-stimulatory behavior — refers to repetitive movements or actions such as rocking, hand-flapping, tapping, chewing, or fiddling with an object. For a long time, it was characterized as a behavior to be eliminated or suppressed. That framing caused significant harm.
A qualitative study conducted by researchers at the University of Exeter and University College London, involving 32 autistic adults, found something unambiguous: participants consistently described stimming as a self-regulatory mechanism — a way of soothing intense emotions, managing sensory overload, and creating a calming, predictable rhythm when the world around them felt unpredictable and overwhelming.[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
In that study, most participants described stimming itself as comfortable or calming. No participant reported finding their stims inherently detrimental, though many described the social consequences — judgment, pressure to stop, and the effort of concealing it — as exhausting and distressing.[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
Other research supports this. A survey of 100 autistic adults found that 72% reported stimming as a coping mechanism for anxiety, 57% cited it as a response to overstimulation, and 80% reported that they generally enjoyed stimming — yet 72% had been told not to do it.[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
The suppression of stimming carries a real cost. Participants in the University of Exeter study described feeling "more on edge" when they suppressed their stims, and researchers noted that the effort of suppression depletes cognitive and emotional resources over time.[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
This is not a call to abandon all social context. It is a call to recognize stimming — and discreet sensory tools that serve a similar function — as legitimate, protective self-care. The goal is not to eliminate the behavior. It is to expand your toolkit so that you have options that feel safe, comfortable, and sustainable in different settings.
Building Your Sensory Self-Care Plan
Sensory self-care is the practice of intentionally managing the sensory input in your life to support your nervous system. It is proactive, personal, and deeply practical.
Here is how to build your own approach.
Step 1: Map Your Sensory Profile
Start with observation, not judgment. Spend a week noticing when your nervous system feels settled and when it does not — and what sensory factors are present in each case.
Useful questions to ask yourself:
- Which environments consistently leave me feeling depleted? (Bright offices? Loud cafeterias? Crowded commutes?)
- Which environments feel grounding or restorative? (Quiet outdoor spaces? Dimly lit rooms? Your car during a lunch break?)
- What types of input do I find overwhelming? (Loud overlapping sounds, fluorescent lighting, unexpected touch, strong scents?)
- What types of input do I find calming or regulating? (Rhythmic movement, soft pressure, familiar textures, specific scents?)
Research with autistic adults shows that many people find it helpful to identify consistent patterns in what types of environments they prefer or avoid, and use this to make daily planning decisions that protect their energy. This is not avoidance — it is self-knowledge.[liebertpub]
Step 2: Identify Your "Red Zones" and "Green Zones"
Once you have a clearer sense of your sensory profile, start categorizing the spaces and situations in your daily life.
A qualitative study of autistic adults in public spaces found that the environments most consistently described as overwhelming shared common features: unpredictability, high noise levels, bright or flickering lights, crowds, and limited opportunities for escape or recovery. Supermarkets, open-plan offices, public transport, and busy high streets came up repeatedly.[liebertpub]
Green zones — environments described as manageable or restorative — often featured lower sensory demand, greater predictability, available quiet areas, and the ability to have some control over input.[liebertpub]
Identifying your personal red zones gives you the ability to plan ahead: choosing lower-traffic times to shop, sitting in quieter areas of a train, requesting different lighting at your desk, or building in a ten-minute decompression window between a draining meeting and your next commitment.
Step 3: Choose Sensory Strategies That Match How Your Nervous System Works
This is where self-care becomes specific. Below are four categories of sensory strategies, grounded in what research and lived experience tell us about neurodivergent nervous systems.
Tactile and Proprioceptive Strategies
Touch and pressure are among the most consistently reported sources of sensory regulation for autistic adults. Research found that many autistic adults actively seek out pressure — tight clothing, firm hugs, heavy blankets — because of the calming effect it provides. Texture-seeking is also common, with participants describing the comfort of soft, smooth, or familiar textures as a grounding tool.[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
For everyday settings where deep pressure items are impractical, discreet tactile tools — like a ring with a textured or rotating surface — can provide a quiet, controlled source of proprioceptive input. The act of rolling, pressing, or spinning a ring uses the same feedback loop that makes stimming effective: a predictable, self-generated rhythm that helps regulate a system under pressure.[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
Participants in the University of Exeter stimming study described exactly this mechanism — one participant explained that rotating his wrist gave him a rhythm he could focus on, which helped him process his thoughts at a manageable pace and "quell everything" around him.[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
Auditory Strategies
Loud overlapping sounds, unexpected noises, and busy auditory environments were among the most commonly reported sources of sensory hyperreactivity. A practical first line of response is control: noise-reducing earbuds or over-ear headphones in loud environments, playing familiar music to provide a predictable auditory layer, and reducing unnecessary background noise in personal spaces.[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
Olfactory Strategies
Many autistic adults reported that they actively seek out specific, pleasant scents as a soothing strategy. In the "In Our Own Words" study, participants described seeking out aromatherapy, food scents, and preferred perfumes as a form of comfort and regulation.[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
Aromatherapy jewelry — which allows you to carry a small, consistent scent close to your body — can serve this function in a way that is discreet, controllable, and portable. Unlike an open diffuser, it puts you in control of the sensory input: you choose the scent, the intensity, and when to engage with it.
Visual and Environmental Adjustments
Bright lights, fluorescent lighting, flickering, and visually cluttered spaces were among the most commonly reported sensory triggers for autistic adults. Reducing or modifying visual input — using a desk lamp rather than overhead lighting, adding a low-visual-noise corner to your workspace, or wearing tinted lenses when outdoors — can meaningfully reduce the total sensory load on your system across a day.[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
Sensory-inclusive design research supports this, noting that adjustments to lighting, noise levels, and the availability of quieter recovery spaces significantly improve autistic adults' ability to function comfortably in environments.[liebertpub]
Step 4: Create a Portable "Calm Anchor" Routine
One of the most practical tools you can build is a small, repeatable sensory routine you can access anywhere — in a meeting, on a commute, in a waiting room.
The value of portable sensory tools comes from predictability and control. Research consistently shows that unexpected, uncontrollable sensory input is more distressing than input of similar intensity that the individual has chosen and can regulate. A sensory anchor — an object, a scent, a movement — works because it is familiar, available, and entirely yours.[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
Some ideas for a portable sensory toolkit:
- A ring you can roll or spin for tactile/proprioceptive grounding
- Aromatherapy jewelry with a scent you associate with calm
- Noise-reducing earbuds for auditory environments
- A smooth stone, coin, or textured object to hold in a pocket
- A short, repeatable breathing sequence paired with a tactile anchor (such as pressing the pad of your ring finger as you exhale)
The research on stimming suggests that even small, nearly invisible repetitive movements — tapping, rotating, pressing — can create the regulatory feedback loop your nervous system is looking for. Jewelry that is designed to be touched, moved, and interacted with is not fidgeting. It is purposeful.[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
Sensory Self-Care at Work
The workplace deserves particular attention, because it is where neurodivergent adults are most often expected to mask — to suppress their sensory needs, their stims, and their regulatory behaviors in order to appear "professional."
Research on sensory processing and community participation found that sensory differences directly influenced where autistic adults chose to go, how long they stayed, and how much energy they had for participation afterward. Work is one of the highest-demand sensory environments most of us navigate, and the cost of doing so without adequate support can be significant.[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
Practical, low-disclosure strategies for the workplace include:
- Lighting: Request a desk lamp or swap fluorescent bulbs for warmer-toned alternatives where possible. If that is not an option, a baseball cap or tinted lenses at your desk can reduce overhead glare.
- Sound: Use noise-reducing earbuds during focused work blocks. Many workplaces have accepted this norm, and you do not need to explain why.
- Breaks: Build intentional sensory decompression into your day — a short walk outside, five minutes in a quiet room, or time in your car at lunch. This is not laziness. It is nervous system maintenance.
- Tactile tools: Keep a sensory anchor at your desk or on your body. Something to press, rotate, or hold during meetings or difficult calls. The research on stimming is clear: these small movements serve a real regulatory function, and accessing them discreetly does not diminish that.[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
When to Seek Professional Support
Sensory self-care is a powerful starting point, but it is not a substitute for professional support when sensory differences are significantly affecting your daily life, mental health, or relationships.
Occupational therapy (OT) is the most established clinical pathway for sensory support in adults. An occupational therapist can conduct a structured sensory assessment, help you identify your specific patterns of hyperreactivity, hyporeactivity, and seeking, and work with you to build an individualized "sensory diet" — a planned set of sensory-motor activities distributed throughout your day to support regulation.[autism.org]
The National Autistic Society notes that sensory processing differences are well-documented in autism and recommends seeking assessment from a qualified occupational therapist when sensory experiences are causing significant distress or limiting participation in daily life.[autism.org]
If you suspect you are neurodivergent but do not yet have a diagnosis, that is worth exploring too. Many adults are diagnosed later in life and describe their diagnosis as an important turning point in understanding — and compassionately accepting — their own sensory needs.
This Is What Real Self-Care Looks Like
Self-care, for a neurodivergent adult, is not an indulgence. It is an act of respect for your nervous system.
It looks like choosing a quieter checkout lane, not because you are being difficult, but because you know what loud, unpredictable environments cost you. It looks like wearing a ring you can spin during a stressful meeting, not because you are bored, but because that rhythmic, predictable movement creates exactly the kind of feedback loop your nervous system needs to stay regulated. It looks like wearing a scent you love because the research tells us that seeking out calming sensory input is a legitimate, effective coping strategy.pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih+1
Research with autistic adults repeatedly shows that acknowledging sensory differences, allowing safe regulatory behaviors, and adapting environments to reduce unnecessary demand improves comfort, participation, and wellbeing. You deserve to apply that knowledge to your own life — not just read about it.pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih+2
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Is sensory self-care only relevant for autistic people?
No. While much of the research in this area focuses on autism, sensory processing differences exist across a wide range of neurodevelopmental profiles, including ADHD, sensory processing disorder, and anxiety disorders. Many neurotypical people also have sensory preferences and sensitivities — the difference for neurodivergent individuals is typically in the intensity, frequency, and daily impact of those experiences.[my.clevelandclinic]
Q: Is stimming harmful?
Stimming that does not cause physical harm to yourself or others is not inherently harmful. Research with autistic adults is consistent on this point: stimming serves a self-regulatory function and objecting to non-harmful stimming runs counter to both the evidence and the principle of respecting bodily autonomy. If a specific stim is causing injury or significantly limiting your ability to function, that is worth discussing with a professional — but the answer is rarely to simply stop.[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
Q: Can a piece of jewelry really make a difference for anxiety?
The mechanism behind sensory jewelry is grounded in what research tells us about proprioceptive and tactile input as regulatory tools. Autistic adults in multiple studies describe how small, controlled, repetitive movements — rotating a wrist, pressing a finger, rolling a surface — create a predictable feedback loop that helps regulate intense emotions and sensory overload. A ring designed with this purpose in mind offers a discreet, socially acceptable way to access that same loop in everyday settings.[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
Q: What is a "sensory diet" and do I need one?
A sensory diet is a personalized plan of sensory-motor activities distributed throughout your day to help your nervous system stay regulated. The term was developed within occupational therapy and is used in both clinical and self-directed contexts. You do not need a formal diagnosis to benefit from sensory-diet principles — paying attention to what your nervous system needs and building small, regular regulatory activities into your day is something anyone can begin doing on their own.[autism.org]
Q: I feel ashamed about needing these kinds of strategies. Is that normal?
Yes — and it makes complete sense given how often neurodivergent adults have been told that their sensory needs are "too much," their stims are inappropriate, or their reactions are an overreaction. Research with autistic adults found that many people suppressed their regulatory behaviors for years because of social stigma, and described feeling belittled, anxious, and "on edge" as a result. Understanding why you have these needs — that they are neurological, not personal failings — is often the first step toward letting yourself meet them.[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih]
Q: Where do I start if I am completely new to sensory self-care?
Start small and stay curious. Spend one week noticing the environments and situations that drain you most, and the small sensory inputs that reliably help you feel more settled. That awareness alone is more useful than any list of strategies. From there, one simple experiment — a calming scent at your desk, a textured object to hold in stressful situations, noise-reducing earbuds on your commute — can be enough to begin building a toolkit that is genuinely yours.
Stimm jewelry is designed with exactly this intention: to offer discreet, elegant sensory tools that meet you in the middle of your actual life — the meetings, the commutes, the ordinary difficult days — and give your nervous system something to hold onto.